January 05, 2004

Rhyme without treason.

So we all know Rovey's the scholar in the family, of course. I mean, sure, I have a couple of PhDs, an MFA in Metalsmithing and an LL.M. in Transnational Law, but Rovey went to SIX different colleges, and he cared just so much about embiggening his mind, that he didn't bother to be a silly ol' degree hog like me! He's just a sucker for the book larnin'!

But, even with all his modesty, I know it must just drive him nuts that his boss is a world famous literary star now. Mrs. Laura had to get all show-offy fancy pants and read that poem he wrote her. You know —


"Roses are red
Violets are blue
Oh my, lump in the bed
How I've missed you.
Roses are redder
Bluer am I
Seeing you kissed by that charming French guy.
The dogs and the cat, they missed you too
Barney's still mad you dropped him, he ate your shoe
The distance, my dear, has been such a barrier
Next time you want an adventure, just land on a carrier."

Well of *course* it's *good* - it rhymes and everything, but I still think it lacks some of the finesse of Rovey's poems. Oh, he'd be so miffed at me if I knew he was sharing these (he's such a shy little poo-poo possum!), but I just can't stand by and let his shining talent be dimmed by the bushel basket of, well the Bushes. Here goes…

Roses are red
Urine is yellow
Now down on your knees, Ho
And pleasure your fellow!
Commies are Reds
Hippies are Greens
Get on all fours,
I'll pretend that you're Dean
Roses are red
Now, I'm not naming names,
But, open your mouth
And I'll screw it like Plame's
Roses are red
So's my erection
Pharms like Viagra
Paid for *this* election!
Roses are red
Like the terror alert
Stay crap-your-pants scared
And no one gets hurt
Roses are red
Oil is black
But of course that's not why
Your kid died in Iraq

Isn't Rovey a little softie-pie? He writes poems about pretty flowers. He's so sensitive. Now, of course you can tell if you've been reading along with me for a while, that words are not my first language (I prefer to express myself through the medium of Inuit Lard Dancing). But on occasion I have a halfway decent eye for the pretty where I find it — like the way that the moonlight glistens off Rovey's toe blisters in a midnight popping session on the patio, or the plaintive whisper of a summer wind through Rovey's back hair.

So, when I was taking a peek at this site's server logs to see if those nice boys from the Treasury Department were still looking in to see if Rovey and I are doing okay (we're just hunky dory, thanks for asking!), I noticed that the search engine words folks were typing in to find the site made a funny little poem! Here they are, and though I slipped in a little bit of spacing and punctuation, I didn't change anything else. Golly - it's like all we RoveHos wrote a poem together!

Ode On A Greasy Yearn

Karl Rove turd blossoms
Karl Rove antichrist
Karl Rove uranium
Who is Karl Rove?
Jerky turkey loves, click here for my...
Address bucket, all animals!
Photo, little teat pap girl?
[Valerie Plame photos]
Bush, unsticker snackin cake add ins.


Little girls in love.
Mad cow? Hickory Farms sausage safety!
Jerky turkey, Loves? Click here for my address.
Bucket all busted.
Watch! Double double animal style!
Karl Rove.
(www.karl rove.com)
Karl Rove...

Unsticker bush
Rice love
Hot valerie plame banged my pics. Double animal gay!
Be her Lieberman for Karl Rove.
My address? Double for little bucket.
Here, Jerky Turkey loves all.
Click, farms, teat, pap, cow, Sausage Girl.

Karl Rove.

Wheeee! RoveHos are poets, and now everyone knows it! (Pssst! If you write any yourself, send 'em in to me — look to the side for my address, or paste 'em in the comments section — and I'll post up the best ones! My very favorite one might even get a special Rovey prize!) Oh - and also toss me a little note if you wanna know whenever I have new things to tell you about Rovey!

Posted by Virginia at January 5, 2004 02:19 AM | TrackBack