January 18, 2008

This Week's Line

This Week's Totally Awesome Video!
Dawn French and Jennifer Saunders take on Andy Warhol's Factory, assisted by Nigel Planer (aka Neil, from The Young Ones) as Warhol. It's terrifyingly spot-on, and I say this as a person who used ot go up to the Whitney Museum to watch the movies for real. Hell, even Warhol acolyte/assuck Paul Morrissey has said that this captures the true daftness of the fabled Factory than any serious film--documentary or otherwise--yet.

This Week's Big Idea
Ending global hunger? Solving the environmental crisis? Creating world peace? Hell, no! I think big. I think impossible. I think of shit that would intimidate Mr. Spock tag-teamed with Paul Bunyan. Yup: Saving the Knicks.
Obviously, as the pundits say, asa the T-shirts read and the crowd at the Garden chants every night: Fire Isiah! Next, bring back Jeff Van Gundy--as generla manager. The Knicks are almost at the point where they'll have draft picks again and the vast gym rat Van Gundy network will find the most bang for the buck.
Speaking of good picks, there's actually been a few over the past few years and, really, those are the only players that are worthwhile. David Lee is solid, MVP at last year's Rookie/Sophmore game during All-Star weekend and, from what I've heard, has rock-star charisma up close. Nate Robinson is, as I have said more than once, "not just a Knick, but a motherfuckin' Knick." Truly, he comes closest to embodying the old-school toughness of my beloved mid-90s Knicks, whether his 5'7" ass is blocking Yao Ming or dunking over a Playboy bunny at the blackjack table. (No shit: He was going to do it for lat year's dunk contest but the Knicks administration decreed it "too dangerous.") Blankman is a damn good player for a sophmore and is only getting bettter, likewise for Chandler. That's your core. So cut loose Marbury, Curry, Ricahrdson, Randolph, whoever else they've got now and just work with the new kids. Maybe keep Juwan Howard, if you really want to. And then you pour the big investment into getting one sold player--someone solid, rugged, someone to scare the enemy. Like one of the Wallaces or bring Ron Artest home.
Then, for coach, here's the real coup de grace: Charles Oakley. Sure, John Starks is the one who coached his team to a USBL finals and now works in the Knicks organization, but Oakley is impressive. After all, it was he who turned Ben Wallace into Ben Wallace by taking the kid under his hawklike wing. He's so tough that the time he punched Shaq, Shaq turned around and punched the nearest white guy, so tough that he decked Charles Barkley on court. In the preseason. He's known for his heart and his blue-collar dedicationt ot he game and I think that, combined with the love-of-the-game front office and a hungry young squad could make the Knicks viable again. Or at least more fun to watch.

This Week's Taste Sensation
Unfortunately, Sonic has taken the deep-fried macaroni and cheese bites off the market--that's what sucks about Sonic, they did the same thing with their delectable southwestern jalapeno burger. Bascially, it was Kraft mac and cheese, sort of breaded and rolled into little chicken-nuggest-esque pieces. They weren't as much fun as they sounded, but they were worth trying. And I would dearly love it if someone would perfect the execution of this delightful concept.
So, as to good food one can still get, I'll have to reccommend the apricot white Stilton cheese and/or the Moroccan-spiced English cheddar with harisa that I recently got at Trader Joe's. I got them for Thanksgiving when I thought I might go somewhere for Thanksgiving, but I wound up just eating a turkey sandwich and watching Court TV. (I hate holidays. Holidays are merely desgined to make you spend money and feel shitty. It's a dull story and not worth telling but just know that I despise holidays.) Which was fine, because then I still had the cheese unwrapped and dainty a week later when two of my friends came over for an America's Next Top Model marathon. I put them with some white bean and basil hummus, some brie with mushrooms and an assortment of crackers and apples and it was fabulous. I felt like Martha Stewart, like any time you come to my house, I'll be able to pull splendid hors d'oeuvres out of my ass without even bending over.

Posted by lissa at January 18, 2008 12:11 AM