Sometimes I let the young ladies know it’s gonna be OK

From “The Double Date“:

Dear Teenager,

You’re the ugly friend. That’s temporary—and actually you’re not ugly at all. You just don’t look the same way as the girls who have figured out how eyeliner, jean sizing, and hot rollers work. Maybe they have a mom or an older sister who’d figured all of this out, or they are allowed to go tanning or read Cosmo or watch General Hospital or something. You don’t and aren’t and while that seems like a tremendous injustice at the moment and you feel like a lone Snickerdoodle on a table full of frosted cupcakes, it’s all gonna work out face, hair, and style-wise for you. I promise.

But periodically, and actually right at this minute, you’re the safety valve on your friend’s hot date. Her mom never would have let her go out alone with a college guy, but if you come along, the she can just tell her that it’s a girls’ night out and that’s totally safe on account of the fact that you don’t get up to shenanigans.

You, however, would very much like to get up to some shenanigans, and it ain’t happening with the boys at school who think you’re smart and funny but would never dream of going out with you because of the whole face/hair/style thing. So you say yes to going out with “Dana” and this guy she met God knows where because the internet hasn’t been invented yet (I KNOW!), and so it wouldn’t just be the three of you, he brought along a friend whose face visibly wilts when you are presented to him as a human girl person.

Read the rest on i believe you | it’s not your fault (a Tumblr where adult ladypeople let the younger women in on what we’ve learned)